I’ll start with the time Bianca and I entered into a long-distance relationship, about two years ago:
We’d been hanging out all summer and were driving back from our friends’ Brittany and Sol’s wedding in Coloma, California. We had just jumped off a bridge into a river and were in my truck, still wet, when Bianca brought up that I’d be moving to Chicago in a few weeks. We hadn’t specifically addressed it, but I had assumed our fling would end with my flight to grad school.
Bianca said something like this: “Hey, should we really go out of our way to end a nice thing? I’m not saying we should kill ourselves trying to stay together this whole next year, but we owe it to ourselves to let things come to a natural end, if that’s what the world intends for us.” (Or something hippie-esque like that.)
I told her I’d mull it over, which I did for the next few days back at my apartment. The next time I saw her I said yes, which officially made us boyfriend and girlfriend.
A few weeks later, she flew to Ecuador for a backpacking trip and I flew to Chicago for a year of schooling. We wouldn’t see each other again for nearly five months, and the whole relationship hinged on a flimsy deal made during a 30-minute truck ride.
Now, two years later, we’re still together, excitedly engaged. In retrospect, I think the flimsiness of that initial agreement is what made the whole thing work. Not a shred of it was forced, which says great things about Bianca.
Now that she’s my fiancé, the distance is terrible. It’s exhausting. My patience is long gone, and so is hers. It’s time to round this corner in life together. We’re too excited about it, and yet we have to wait another month.
I think that means we’ve become dependant on one another, which is something I’ve always wanted to feel in my adult life: Being apart is exhausting only because being together is so exciting.
Here’s some craziness to end on: Bianca and I have taken tons of trips the the airport together, and yet, we have NEVER boarded a flight together and traveled to the same destination.
Nothing but pickups and drop offs.
That’ll change soon!