The destruction of cupcakes

I gave Bianca a dozen gourmet cupcakes for her birthday, nine of which were caked in dirt and sand. Here’s how it went down…

Bianca’s friend Leslie (the same girl I consulted about her engagement ring) referred me to a cupcake place called Kara’s and suggested I get S’more flavor, since we’d be camping.

Great idea, so I made it happen.

After work on Friday, I met up with Sarah, one of Bainca’s bridesmaids. We packed the car and picked up our friend Brianna on the way to the cupcake place. My brother Travis joined the ride in Oakland.

He and I sat in the front seat while the cupcakes and the girls slept in the back.

After some hours of driving, I heard a mini commotion from the girls. Sarah was whispering sleepy apologies when I turned around and saw her inspecting the cupcake box.

As it turns out, she made an unconscious adjustment while sleeping and ended up using the box as a pillow, smashing the middle cupcakes.

But the ones on the edge were fine.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said as she apologized repeatedly. “We only need one nice one anyways, that way we can stick a candle in it and sing Happy Birthday.”

Travis took the box and placed it on top of the dashboard. “Put them on the floor so they don’t fall,” I told him.

The road got dark and windy. I wasn’t sure we were in the right place. Travis said to just keep going. We didn’t have any GPS. Our CD ended, so I told him to change it.

He placed the cupcake box on the dashboard and grabbed my CD booklet. I rounded a bend. The cardboard box slid. He reached in a panic, and then he held totally still, staring at me, with the box pinned sideways against the dashboard.

“Oh no.”

I pulled over to the side of the road and hit my dome light. I could see just one of the mangled up cupcakes, but assumed the rest were hiding in the corners.

“Is there at least one nice one?” I asked Travis while staring that that one ugly cupcake.

“Umm… probably this one.”

He was pointing at the one I was looking at, the destroyed one. He lifted the box from the dashboard, revealing that there were only three cupcakes left in the box. The other nine were scattered across the floor of my car.

The marshmallow clung to my dirty interior, and my dirty interior clung to the remnants of the cupcakes, which we packed back into the box.

That one on the top left is the survivor of the bunch.

I told Travis as we drove away that I wouldn’t be paying him back for the camping beer he bought, so he grabbed a mangled cupcake that he assumed to be one of the clean ones and took a bite. Rocks crunched as he chewed. He spit it back into his hands.

We reached the campground after just five more minutes of driving. Bianca appreciated the sentiment and laughed hard at the horrendous mess.

We made real S’mores during the trip instead.

I’m impressed that a bridesmaid and a groomsman could cause such damage in such a small window of time. It should make for an exciting wedding.

– Justin

Categories: Food, Justin, Present | Leave a comment

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